False Accusations
I had a hard time writing this story, and not placing this subject under the abuse section. Defaming someone with a lie is an abuse that leaves a legacy of doubt behind it.
I've met so many people who have been ensnared in the battle where their character was being assassinated. Whatever the accusation was it produced the same results. Anxiety. Fear. Desperation. Fear. Anxiety. When I hear them talk about what their lives looked like, after an accusation or allegation, it utterly breaks my heart. I feel deep empathy for their sorrow because I know it all too well.
Father God, I pray that right now, as I write one of the toughest pages from the book of my journey that you will let my words reveal the God of all Comfort. You were persecuted, assassinated, and tortured with complete disregard, so I know you know the depth of this pain. Amen!
These days, destroying someone's life with a lie seems to be so easy. Interpretations are everywhere. Think about this for minute. When you're in the grocery story and you see the mother reprimanding her child (probably because the child just threw a fit on the next isle over) our hearts immediately go to the cry of the child. Let me make it simple, WE BELIEVE THE WORST IN PEOPLE!
We take our interpretations, our history, our thoughts and weave them into a conclusion without even knowing one ounce about the situation. We question people's motives and intentions. These kinds of conclusions are hurtful, unjust and unfair. What we should be doing is remembering that people are innately good underneath, but we live in a fallen world, so it's very hard to not get sucked into the concept that everyone's bad, until proven otherwise.
Sometimes, when someone wants to knock the lights out of you, and yes, I'm meaning God's light, they brew a nasty lie to gain power over you. A game changer to challenge and fight you for power and control. A projection of their own deepest darkness.
I remember my first DSS investigation where my ex was accusing me of something to gain the upper hand in our legal battle. There was a knock at the door, but since I was putting the baby down for a nap, I didn't hear the doorbell. Hours later when I found the paper stuck to the door, brokenness and fright took my heart on the fastest roller coaster ride through sorrow. I was paralyzed with fear. Where is my God now? OMG I can't move. Paralyzed.
By the time I was able to pull myself up off my knees and call the number on the paper, I had already soaked my shirt from tears. Since it was the start of the weekend the lady on the other end told me that she wouldn't be able to visit again until Monday. Great! An entire weekend to worry and remain paralyzed.
By the time Monday came my faith wasn't just tested, it was trembling. The moment this woman walked through my door God's light also walked in with her, "Relax, your kids are fine." She said, "I gave them wishes and do you want to know what they wished for? They wished for a trip to Disney world and a dog." Tears streamed uncontrollably.
She spent over an hour talking to me and hearing my story. Her final words to me were, "Don't let these men tear you down and steal your power." Months later, I called on her for advice, during a time when I was feeling exhausted from the battle, "we can tell that you are a good mother, don't let them tear you down and steal your power."
That's what a false accusation does to you, it steals your power. Everything you hold closely to your heart suddenly becomes a movie strip being played while you watch. Questions, disbelief, bitterness seeps in quickly and the anxiety in your chest shortens your breathing. Unforgivable pain because this lie was the lowest of trump cards used to bend you into submission. An invisible beating is going on in your soul.
I'm not going to say that this way easy for me. I'm not even going to tell you that my faith stood firm throughout four accusations and several little lies written on paper. I had someone tell me, "you are way up here, they are way down there, and to make themselves look better they have to knock you down." That person lost my ear when he then said, "I'd do the same thing, if it meant winning."
Life brings loss in many ways, whether it's death, divorce, or loss of a home. Losing your character because of an accusation reoccurs over and over. Doubt creeps about like the raging seas that's talked about when Jesus walked on water and Peter kept focusing his sight on the storm.
The boat signifies what life was before the accusation. The raging seas is the lie. Thousands of ripples, aggressive current, and whitecaps flowing everywhere, surrounding everything with no controlling it. All you have left is Jesus standing there in the midst of the storm begging you to fix your eyes on Him. So, you get out of the boat towards the only one who can save you from drowning, but the sharks are lurking underneath waiting for your footing to slip. You struggle to gasp for air as the waves cover you.
I'm sorry. That's all I can say. I'm so so sorry. I know the depths of this pain caused by the paralyzing fear. Let me walk with you through your journey by saying that the God of the Universe grabbed Peter, His chosen disciple filled with fear, when his own faith was tested by the raging seas, and asked him, “why did you doubt?” Matthew 14:31
Don't let the lie win it's power because you doubt yourself. God's promise is this: "Whatever is said in the dark will be heard in the light, and what is whispered behind closed doors will be shouted from the housetops for all to hear! Luke 12:3
Like Peter, when you see the wind, cry out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately, Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. Matthew 14:30-31 Cry out, and as I've seen in my own journey, IMMEDIATELY He will reach out his hand and catch you from drowning.
Nighttime
Gemstone
Nights were hard. How does one find rest when your soul is drowning in fear. I honestly had to sing myself to sleep to drown out the noise inside my head trying to tear me apart.
I listened to this song so much that I knew the words by heart. Let these words take root in your soul and a foothold around your heart. Fix your eyes upon Jesus precious friend and know that you are not ALONE in this storm.
I remember the day this song debuted on the radio. Hearing the first stanza of lyrics, "Between the black skies and my red eyes, I can barely see," left me wondering before my God, "Are you telling me, Father that you know what this feels like? I have little faith. Lord, save me!"
Our storms may not look like what the disciples must have felt that night on the water, but they are real storms with real frightening terror.
When someone tries to set themselves higher by campaigning a lie towards you, the raging seas won't have any mercy.
My pastor once said in his sermon that "water will have it's way." The truth is whether it's raging water or living water, it will have it's way. so choose to walk on water with Jesus.
In the Eye of the Storm
by Ryan Stevenson
When the solid ground is falling out from underneath my feet
BETWEEN THE BLACK SKIES
AND MY RED EYES
I CAN BARELY SEE
And, when I'm feeling
like I've been let down by
my friends and family
I can feel the rain
reminding me
In the eye of the storm,
You remain in control
In the middle of the war,
You guard my soul
You alone are the anchor,
when my sails are torn
Your love surrounds me in the eye of the storm
When my hopes and dreams are far from me,
and I'm runnin' out of faith
I see the future I picture
slowly fade away
And when the tears of pain
and heartache are falling
down my face
I find my peace in Jesus' name
The Lord is my Shepherd
I have all that I need
He lets me rest in green meadows
He leads me beside
peaceful streams
He renews my strength
He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to His Name
Even when I walk through
the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid
For You are close beside me