Unseen Child Abuse
The 1 day Read
Gemstones
Devotional Gemstone
Can you imagine anything more precious than the moment you first laid eyes on your child? Loving my children was viewed as a place of emotional weakness that my abuser could use over and over again to torment me. I purposely write this page, one year after my daughter was encouraged to run away from my home, by her father.
Broken. That's what I feel. I watched him shoot lies right inside my own household and then pin my daughter against me on a weekly basis. It's a known fact that children of divorce have two personas, the person that they have at moms house and the person they have at dads house. I watched and prayed, prayed and watched, as my daughter battled to understand who was telling the truth, meanwhile, my ex stood in the shadows, licking his chops, at the chaos he'd cause.
I believed my court order protected us from what was coming. If you've read my other pages, then you'll remember the stories about the comments made to me that "court orders are for law abiding citizens" and that "jails are filled with people who break the law."
Even inside my own home, I watched my child get brainwashed, desensitized between right and wrong extremes, and enticed to cut ties with everything and everyone. What child wouldn't believe the parent playing the victim when they don't know who is telling the truth! This is such a blurry line for kids when they are being put into a situation of weighing their parents words, against the words, of the other parent.
I was told by a counselor that a child will align themselves with the unsafe parent because it's emotionally easier on the child to do so, and that, I should take such alignment, as a compliment. This year, didn't feel like a COMPLIMENT!
The compliment didn't come from being the emotionally safer parent, rather the compliment came from the God of the Universe who cared enough to warn me about what was coming. Of all the things God's got to deal with, He showed up for my situation to assure me that He knew what was coming and He cared enough about my spirit to warn me ahead of time.
I've heard it all: "All kids o f divorce try to flee to the parent with no rules;" "Teens are looking to separate from their parents, some do it gradually and some do it all of the sudden;" "Don't worry they always come back once they figure it out for themselves."
Those all make logical sense, but underneath the whole enticing my daughter to runaway, I knew there was an abusive mindset orchestrating the entire situation. Am I bitter and resentful? At one point, I was downright angry and anger unchecked certainly can lead to bitterness. Bitterness wasn't the root issue for me. Disregard for the law and disregard for me as her mother. When my ex would claim his infamous line, "it wasn't me," still two distinct questions came to mind: "What would my ex do if we were still together and she ran away?" or "What if we were working together as parents and my daughter had run to a friends house?" Simple. We'd go get our child and bring her home. HOME for our situation was what the courts said, and that was my home.
I mentioned above that God warned me. Sadly, one of my other children had to hear an hour long conversation of the other parent planning out my child running away. Thankfully, God's voice was strong enough inside my son's heart to reach out to me (while on a visit to his father's home) to warn me what they were planning.
I have learned over the years that when things are quiet, as it was prior to this event, that it's not because my ex has resolved within himself to move on. CALM BEFORE THE STORM. During these times of quiet, I would disillusion myself to think that finally he had given up on wearing me down. I now realize that disillusioning myself made the emotional pain I felt far worse because I allowed myself to blindsided by the situations he'd orchestrate. Just like the time he took my children when they were young from school, after being gone from their lives for several months. Completely unavailable and disengaged did not equal peaceful resolve in our situation. Abuse means to treat a person with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly.
So, what makes a child severe all ties to one parent and align themselves with the other parent? In my situation, years of wearing the child down with emotional neglect and pathological lies. Each time, my child came to me about a situation, my ex had already laid the brickwork and set the stage to portray me as the liar. Because I wasn't the parent who bad mouthed to win the argument back towards my favor, I lost many battles.
In the book highlighted in this section, what caught my attention was the profound statement, "If teaching a child to despise his own parent isn't a hate crime, what is?" How does one maintain hatred of the other parent and still claim to love the child?
In the face of complete disregard, I've had to choose the high road no matter what the other household did to me or said about me. I'd have to remind myself that being obedient to Christ by doing right in God's eyes was far more important than being right, in the moment, while my child was screaming at me, "Dad says you....."
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest, if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9 Compromising my CONVICTION would only cost me more in the long run.
No matter what, Faith had/has to be enough...NOT MATTER WHAT! It's been one year, and my first born little girl, my first real love, now calls me by my first name, has no contact with me, and has exiled me from all areas of her life.
Letting go is an ongoing journey filled with potholes that cause you to take a thrusting jolt towards face planting when your ankle snaps sideways, but faith lifts you back up to the solid ground on the other side.
Brainwashing Children
Exposing and Combating the most common form of child abuse
"If teaching a child to despise his own parent isn't a hate crime, what is?"
It's time to expose the most common form of child abuse in America: the brainwashing of innocent children's minds to despise their own parent. Learn how to recognize the early signs of Parental Alienation Syndrome, understand the nature of parents willing to emotionally harm their own child, and use effective techniques and tools that will help restore your relationship with your child.
Brainwashing Children is not written by a child therapist or psychologist who has lots of theoretical knowledge about mental child abuse but has never experienced a campaign of hatred and contempt firsthand. Rather, it’s written by a Texas father who witnessed a deplorable assault on his relationship with his son. The books he read on Parental Alienation Syndrome by the experts were good, but weren’t enough. So he crafted his own techniques and over the course of three years turned around his son’s relationship with him.
Now he shares his insights and wisdom with other parents who are faced with an alienated child brought about by a petty, bitter, and angry ex.
Can you have JOY again saying "Goodbye, for now" to a brainwashed child? Yes!
Find the joys that you can. Because this takes years in most cases to recover from a severe alienated state from your son or daughter or children; you can’t be fixated on the alienation and let the poison that’s being dripped over your kid or kids and yourself infect and drown out and poison all the other areas of your life.
There are six specific things I really want you to concentrate on because you can’t let they alienator win, so to speak, by allowing this to make you depressed or to crowd out all the other good things in your life.
Here are the six: friends, family, job, hobbies, religion, and passions, and obviously, not in that order.
Say ‘you know what, I’m going to use this time of alienation to do something I normally would never do.’ It’s taking a negative thing and creating something positive out of that. That’s going to be another video I’ll be doing.